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eliyesSeason 3 time!
Spectre of the Gun
Chekov: "A lot of people and things have tried to kill me... You'd be surprised."
Spock: "Gentlemen, there is one thing which requires the immediate attention of all of us -- specifically, our future."
Kirk: "But not this minute, Spock. It takes us... a little longer."
Spock: "I understand the feeling, Captain."
McCoy: "You talk about another man's feelings. What do you feel, Spock?"
Spock: "My feelings are not subject for discussion, Doctor."
McCoy: "Because there are no feelings to discuss!"
Scotty: "Chekov is dead! I say it now, and I can hardly believe it, but you worked closely with him. That deserves some memorial."
McCoy: "Spock will have no truck with grief, Scotty. It's human."
Kirk: "Bones... Scotty..."
Spock: "Captain... it's quite all right. They forget I am half human."
Melkotian: "Captain Kirk... you did not kill. Is this the way of your kind?"
Kirk: "It is. We fight only when there's no choice. We prefer the ways of peaceful contact. I speak for an alliance of fellow creatures who believe in the same thing. We have sought you out to join us. Our mission is still one of peace."
Elaan of Troyius
(The number of people who don't get that this is a play on "Helen of Troy" astounds me.)
Kirk: "Ambassador, I'd like to speak to you."
Elaan: "You have not been dismissed."
Kirk: "May I have your permission to go?"
Elaan: "You are now dismissed."
Kirk: "Why, thank you."
Elaan: "You are warned, Captain, never to touch me again!"
Kirk: "If I were to touch you again, Your Glory, it would be to administer an ancient Earth custom called a spanking!"
Kirk: "If that's the only way you can get gratification, I'll arrange to have the whole room filled from floor to ceiling with breakable objects."
Elaan: "I will not be humiliated!"
Kirk: "Then act in a civilized fashion."
Elaan: "I did not give you permission to leave!"
Kirk: "I didn't ask for any."
Spock: "Captain, your analysis of the situation was flawless, anticipating that she would deny you admittance. However, the logic by which you arrived at your conclusion escapes me."
Kirk: "Spock, the women on your planet are logical. That's the only planet in this galaxy that can make that claim!"
Kirk: "Be pleasant no matter how much it hurts."
Kirk: "The prejudices people feel about each other disappear when they get to know each other."
McCoy: "Spock, I've finally found the antidote to the Elasian tears!"
Spock: "You're too late, Doctor."
McCoy: "Are you out of your Vulcan mind? Do you know how long I've been working on this?"
Spock: "The cure to the tears of an Elasian is a starship. The Enterprise infected the Captain long before the Dohlman did."
McCoy: "Well, I seriously doubt that there's any cure to a starship."
Spock: "On this particular occasion, Doctor, I agree with you."
The Paradise Syndrome
(The one where Kirk gets amnesia, gets married, and overwhelms Spock during a mindmeld. Also, Miramanee's pregnancy is considered by many Star Trek fans to be the only incontrovertible evidence that Captain Kirk had sexual relations with an alien or human female during the time frame of the original series. As opposed to a lot of kissing. Me, I've got my doubts.)
McCoy: "Well, Spock, you took your calculated risk in your calculated Vulcan way, and you lost -- you lost for us, you lost for that planet, and you lost for Jim."
McCoy: "Back to that planet? Without warp speed, it'll take months."
Spock: "Exactly 59.223 days, Doctor, and that asteroid will be four hours behind us all the way."
McCoy: "Well, then what's the use? We might not be able to save the captain even if he still is alive. We might not be able to save anything, including this ship! You haven't heard a word I've said. All you've been doing is staring at that blasted obelisk."
Spock: "Another calculated Vulcan risk, Doctor."
Spock: (after McCoy asks him why he broke the mindmeld so soon) "His mind -- he is ... an extremely dynamic individual."
Kirk: (gets up) "It worked."
Miramanee: (dying) "When I am better... it will be as it was, will it... not?"
Kirk: "If that's what you want."
Miramanee: "We will live long and happy lives. I will bear you many strong sons. I love you always."
Kirk: "And I love you, Miramanee... always." (they kiss)
Miramanee: "Each kiss... is as the first." (she dies)
The Enterprise Incident
Enterprise medical log, stardate 5027.3. Dr. Leonard McCoy recording; I'm concerned about Captain Kirk. He shows indications of increasing tension and emotional stress. I can find no reason for the captain's behavior, except possibly that we've been on patrol too long without relief and diversion. He has resisted all of my attempts to run a psychological profile on him.
Chapel: "Then Mr. Spock isn't a traitor; you knew that all along and you didn't–-"
McCoy: "I didn't know until I beamed aboard the Romulan vessel; Jim and Spock were working under Federation orders."
Scotty: "All right doctor, what's so urgent that... captain? Captain Kirk?"
Kirk: (surgically altered to look like a Romulan) "Yes?"
Scotty: "Oh, you look like the devil himself, but as long as you're alive; what's it all about?"
Kirk: "Are the Romulan hostages still aboard?"
Scotty: "They're in the brig, sir."
Kirk: "I'll need their Romulan uniforms."
Scotty:(chuckle) "Aye -– it'll be a pleasure!"
Romulan Commander: "Why would you do this to me?! What are you that you could do this?!"
Spock: "First officer of the Enterprise."
Spock: "It is regrettable that you were made an unwilling passenger. It was not intentional. All the Federation wanted was the cloaking device."
Romulan Commander: "The Federation? And what did you want?"
Spock: "It was my only interest when I boarded your vessel."
Romulan Commander: "And that's exactly all you came away with."
Spock: "You underestimate yourself, Commander."
Romulan Commander: "You realize that very soon we will learn to penetrate the cloaking device you stole."
Spock: "Obviously. Military secrets are the most fleeting of all. I hope that you and I exchanged something more... permanent."
Romulan Commander: "It was your choice."
Spock: "It was the only choice possible. You would not respect any other."
Romulan Commander: "It will be our secret."
McCoy: (over the intercom) "You're due in surgery. I'm going to bob your ears." ♥ ♥ ♥
Spock: "Captain, please go. Somehow, they do not look aesthetically agreeable on humans."
McCoy: "Well, are you coming down or do you want to go through life looking like your first officer?"
Kirk: "I'm on my way!"
And the Children Shall Lead
(The one where Kirk has a panic attack in the turbolift with Spock. Oh, and also some kids kill their families and take over the ship.)
Kirk: "Take Mr. Sulu to his quarters, he's relieved of duty. Mr. Leslie egdirb hte egdirb kcops. Enifnoc mih ot sretrauq... Egdirb kcops morf eht egdirb! I dias... Ekat Rm Ulus ot sih sretrauq... Evomer tnanetueil uruhu and kcops dna enifnoc meht ot sretrauq! Did you hear me? Did you hear me!?"
Kirk: "Scotty. I want you to override the bridge navigation system. Lay in a course for Starbase 4."
Scott: "I can't do that, sir!"
Kirk: "Why not?!"
Scott: "These are very sensitive instruments! I will not have you upset their delicate balance! We would all be lost! Forever lost! Go away, now. Go away or we'll kill you!"
Uhura: "...Captain... I'm old... disease... a slow horrible death... disease captain!"
Spock: "Captain, so long as the children are present, there is danger. They are the carriers."
Kirk: "Spock, they're not the alien beings. They're children being misled."
Spock: "They are followers. Without followers, evil cannot spread."
Kirk: "They're children."
Spock: "Captain, the 430 men and women on board the Enterprise and the ship itself are endangered by these children."
Kirk: "They don't understand the evil that they're doing."
Spock: "Perhaps that is true, but the evil that is within them is spreading fast, and unless we can find a way to remove it..."
Kirk: "We'll have to kill them."
Gorgan: "I would ask you to join me, but you are gentle, and that is a grave weakness."
Kirk: "We're also very strong."
Gorgan: "Ah, but your strength is canceled by your gentleness. You are full of goodness. Such as you cannot be changed."
Spock's Brain
(Spock's brain is stolen. McCoy installs a remote control device. I'm not even kidding.)
Kirk: "You've got him on complete life support; was he dead?"
McCoy: "Jim..."
Kirk: "Come on, Bones, what's the mystery?!"
McCoy: "His brain is gone!"
Kirk: (mouths "His brain?")
Kirk: "We'll have to take him with us."
McCoy: "Take... Take him where?"
Kirk: "In search of his brain, doctor."
Kirk: "Readout, Mr. Chekov."
Chekov: "No structures, Captain. No mechanized objects that I can read. No surface consumption, no generation of energy. Atmosphere is perfectly all right, of course. Temperature, a high maximum of 40. Livable."
Kirk: "You have a thick skin."
Spock: (disembodied voice) "It is unexpectedly pleasant to hear your voice again, Captain!"
Kirk: (into his communicator) "Spock. Spock. Come on, Spock. Spo~ock, you were on this frequency, Spock."
Spock: (from the communicator as Kirk walks past Spock's body) "Yes, captain. I am still here."
Spock: (rapidly babbling)
McCoy: "I knew it, I should never have done it!"
Kirk: "What?"
McCoy: "I never should have reconnected his mouth."
Kirk: "Well, we took the risk."
Spock: (still talking. the other men laugh)
Is There in Truth No Beauty?
McCoy: "How can one so beautiful condemn herself to look upon ugliness for the rest of her life?"
Miranda: "How can one so full of the love of life condemn himself to look upon sickness?"
Kirk: "Most of us are attracted by beauty and repelled by ugliness -- one of the last of our prejudices."
Miranda: (taking a rose from Kirk) "I suppose it has thorns?"
Kirk: "I never met a rose that didn't."
Larry Marvick: "Don't love her! Don't love her! She'll kill you if you love her... I love you, Miranda." (dies)
Kirk: (to Miranda, who refuses to help save Spock) "Yes, you know your rival, don't you? You couldn't keep him from making a mind-link with Kollos – something that you couldn't do yourself! ... With my words, I'll make you hear such ugliness, that Spock saw when he looked at Kollos with his naked eyes – the ugliness is within you! ...Your passion to see Kollos is madness. You can never see! Never! But Spock saw Kollos, and for that he must die? Mental hatred! The stench of jealousy permeates you! Why don't you strangle him while he lies there? Kollos knows what's in your heart! You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to Kollos."
The Empath
McCoy: "Well, she seems harmless enough."
Spock: "The sand bats of Manark IV appear to be inanimate rock crystals... until they attack."
McCoy: "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm going to call her 'Gem'."
Spock: "'Gem', doctor?"
McCoy: "Well, that's better than 'Hey, you'."
McCoy: "Men weren't intended to live this far underground; it's just not natural."
Kirk: "And space travel is?"
Spock: "Some men spend the majority of their lives in mines beneath the surface."
McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not a coal miner."
Kirk: "The best defense is a strong offense, and I intend to start offending right now."
Kirk: "And what do you want from me?"
Lal: "We've already observed the intensity of your passions and gauged your capacity to love others. Now we want you to reveal to us your courage and strength of will."
Kirk: "Why? What is it you hope to prove? If my death is to have any meaning, at least tell me what I'm dying for!"
Thann: "If you live, you will have your answer."
(McCoy knocked out the other two to make sure he was the one tortured)
Kirk: "Why did you let him do it?"
Spock: "I was convinced in the same way you were: by the good doctor's hypo."
Kirk: "How long?" (until McCoy dies)
Spock: "It could happen anytime."
McCoy: "The correct medical phrase, eh, Spock?" (he has a coughing fit; Spock holds him) "You've got a...a good bedside manner, Spock."
Kirk: "How will the death of our friend serve this purpose?"
Lal: "His death will not serve it, but her willingness to give her life for him will. You were her teachers."
Kirk: "We were? What could she learn from us?"
Lal: "You will to survive. Your love of life. Your passion to know. They are recorded in her being."
McCoy: (refusing to let Gem absorb his wounds) "I can't destroy life, even if it is to save my own."
Kirk: "If death is all you understand... here are four lives for you. We will not leave our friend. You've lost the capacity to feel the emotions you brought Gem here to experience. You don't understand what it is to live. Love and compassion are dead in you, you're nothing but intellect!"
Lal: "Your actions were spontaneous. Everything that is truest and best in all species of beings has been revealed by you. Those are the qualities that make a civilization worthy to survive."
The Tholian Web
McCoy: "Jim, this ship is dissolving. My hand just passed through a man and a table."
Spock: "A few hours ago, the Captain elected to remain on board the Defiant so that three members of this crew would have the best chance of returning safely to the Enterprise. His concern was not only for them, but for all the members of the crew of this ship. You all know the sequence of events. We were fired upon by the Tholian ship. At that time, Captain Kirk may have been alive. I deemed it necessary to return the Tholian fire for the safety of the Enterprise. The Tholian ship has been disabled. But as a result of the battle, we must accept the fact that Captain Kirk is no longer alive."
(A crewman goes berserk and is carried out by three security men.)
McCoy: "Take him to Sickbay. Put him in restraint."
Spock: "I shall not attempt to voice the quality of respect and admiration which Captain Kirk commanded. Each of you must evaluate the loss in the privacy of your own thoughts."
Scotty: "Attention." (a respectful pause) "Dismissed."
McCoy: (to Spock) "The captain's last order is top priority, and you will honor that order before you take over. He was a hero in every sense of the word yet his life was sacrificed for nothing! The one thing that would have given his death meaning is the safety of the Enterprise. Now you've made that impossible."
Kirk's last orders (on tape):
"Bones, Spock. Since you are playing this tape, we will assume that I am dead, that the tactical situation is critical, and both of you are locked in mortal combat. It means, Spock, that you have control of the ship and are probably making the most difficult decisions of your career. I can offer only one small piece of advice for whatever it's worth: use every scrap of logic and knowledge you have to save the ship, but temper your judgment with intuitive insight. I believe you have those qualities -- but if you can't find them in yourself, seek out McCoy. Ask his advice, and, if you find it sound, take it. Bones, you've heard what I just told Spock. Help him if you can, but remember he is the captain; his decisions must be followed, without question. You might find that he is capable of human insight and human error. They are most difficult to defend, but you will find that he is deserving of the same loyalty and confidence each of you have given me. Take care."
McCoy: "Spock, I, uh... I'm sorry. It does hurt, doesn't it?"
Spock: "What would you have me say, Doctor?"
McCoy: "Must be this space is getting to me too. I know it's nothing you've done Spock, I... I'm sorry."
Spock: "I understand, doctor. I'm sure the captain would simply have said: 'Forget it, Bones'."
Uhura: "I see him!"
Chekov: "There he is!"
Sulu: "It's the Captain!"
Kirk: "I had a whole universe to myself after the Defiant was thrown out. There was absolutely no one else in it. I must say I prefer a crowded universe much better!"
Kirk: "How'd you two get along without me?"
McCoy: "Oh, we managed. Mr. Spock gave the orders, and I found the answers."
Kirk: "Good. No problems between you?"
Spock: "None worth reporting, Captain."
Kirk: "Try me."
Spock: "Ummm, only such minor disturbances, as are inevitable when humans are involved."
Kirk: "Which humans, Mr. Spock?"
McCoy: "What he means that when humans become involved with Vulcans, Jim."
Kirk: "Ah, yes. I understand. Well, I hope my last orders were helpful in solving any problems that you don't feel worth reporting."
Spock: "Orders, Captain?"
McCoy: "What orders are you referring to, Jim?"
Kirk: "My last orders. The last orders that I left for both... for both of you. The last taped orders."
McCoy: "Oh, those orders! Well, there wasn't time. We never had a chance to listen to them."
Spock: "No. You see, the crisis was upon us, and then passed so quickly, Captain, that we..."
Kirk: "Good. Good. Well, I hope we won't have similar opportunities to test those orders... which you never heard."
For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky
(The one where McCoy gets married. What can I say, Natira knows a good thing when she sees it. She's actually pretty awesome.)
McCoy: "He has one year to live at the most."
Kirk: "Who is it?"
McCoy: "The ship's chief medical officer."
Kirk: "You?"
McCoy: "I'll be most effective on the job in the time if you'll keep this to yourself."
Natira: "I wish you to stay here, on Yonada, as my mate."
McCoy: "But we're strangers to each other."
Natira: "But is not that the nature of men and women, that the pleasure is in the learning of each other?"
McCoy: "I have an illness for which there is no cure... I have one year to live."
Natira: "Yesterday, my heart did not speak; it sustained my life, nothing more. Now, it sings. I would be happy to have that feeling for a day, a week, a month... a year, whatever the Creators have in store for us."
Natira: "Is truth not truth for all?"
Day of the Dove
Kirk: "We must talk to Kang. Bury the hatchet."
Spock: "An appropriate choice of terms, Captain. However it is notoriously difficult to negotiate a truce with the Klingons once blood has been drawn."
Kang: "Out! We need no urging to hate humans! But for the present, only a fool fights in a burning house."
Chekov: "Lies! They want to start a war by pretending we did it!"
McCoy: "Chekov's right, Jim. The Klingons claim to have honored the truce, but there've been incidents, raids on our outposts."
Kirk: "No proof that the Klingons committed them."
McCoy: "What proof do we need? We know what a Klingon is!"
McCoy: "There are rules, even in war –- you don't keep hacking at a man after he's down!"
Spock: "May I say that I have not thoroughly enjoyed working with humans. I find their illogic and foolish emotions a constant irritant."
Scotty: "Then transfer out! Freak!"
Scotty: "Keep your Vulcan hands off me! Just keep away. Your feelings might be hurt, you green-blooded half-breed!"
Spock: "I, too, felt a brief surge of racial bigotry –- most distasteful."
Spock: "No one can guarantee the actions of another."
Spock: "Those who hate and fight must stop themselves. Otherwise, it is not stopped. "
Mara: "You are not going to–?"
Kirk: "The Federation doesn't kill or mistreat its prisoners; you've been listening to propaganda ... fables."
Mara: "We have always fought. We must. We are hunters, Captain, tracking and taking what we need. We have poor planets in the Klingon systems. We must push outward to survive."
Kirk: "There's another way to survive...Mutual trust and help."
Kirk: "The Klingons have maintained a dueling tradition. They think they can beat us with swords."
Kirk: "All right." (tosses sword aside) "All right! In the heart, in the head; I won't stay dead! And then, I'll come back and do the same to you –- I'll kill you! And it goes on and on; the good old game of war! Kill the bad guys!"
Kirk: "This is Captain Kirk. A truce is ordered. The fighting is over. Lay down your weapons."
Kang: "This is Kang. Cease hostilities. Disarm."
Plato's Stepchildren
(Aliens made them do it. Interracial kiss.)
Alexander: "They're going to kill you after a while. You know that!"
Kirk: "In that case, what's the point in you dying, too, Alexander?"
Alexander: "...That's the first time anyone's ever thought of my life before his own."
McCoy: "The release of emotion is what keeps us healthy. Emotionally healthy."
Spock: "That may be, Doctor. However, I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently unhealthy for those closest to you."
Kirk: "Where I come from, size, shape or color makes no difference."
Alexander: "You think that's what I want? Become one of them? Become my own enemy? Just lie around like a big blob of nothing and have things done for me? No, sir! If I want to do something, I'll do it for myself! If I want to laugh or cry, I'll do it for myself! You can keep your precious power! All I ask is one thing. If you do make it out of here, take me with you!"
Uhura: (forced into Captain Kirk's arms) "I'm so frightened, Captain. I'm so very frightened."
Kirk: "That's the way they want you to feel. Makes them think that they're alive."
Uhura: "I know it, but... I wish I could stop trembling."
Kirk: "Try not to think of them." (the Platonians laugh as they force them closer and closer together) "Try..."
Uhura: "I'm thinking... I'm thinking of all the times on the Enterprise when I was scared to death..." (they're forced to embrace) "...and I would see you so busy at your command, and I would hear your voice from all parts of the ship... and my fears would fade. And now they're making me tremble. But I'm not afraid. I am not afraid..."
Wink of an Eye
(Aliens kidnap Kirk for breeding stock.)
McCoy: "Compton! I was looking at him. I was looking right at him, and then... he just wasn't there!"
Deela: "They cannot hear you, Captain. To their ears, you sound like an insect. That's your description, Captain. Accurate, if unflattering. Really there is nothing wrong with them."
Kirk: "What have you done?"
Deela: "Changed you. So you are like me now. Your crew cannot see you or any of us because of the acceleration. We move in the wink of an eye. Oh, there is a scientific explanation for it, but all that really matters is that you can see me, and talk to me... and... we can go on from there."
Kirk: "Why?"
Deela: "Because I like you. Didn't you guess? Or are you so accustomed to being kissed by invisible women?"
Deela: "Are you married, Captain? No family? No attachments? I know. You're married to your career, and you never look at another woman."
Kirk: "Well, if she's pretty enough... I'll look."
That Which Survives
(Spock is really snotty in this one. X3)
Uhura: "Mr. Spock! Are you all right?"
Spock: "Yes. I believe no permanent damage was done."
Uhura: "What happened?"
Spock: "The occipital area of my head seems to have impacted with the arm of the chair."
Uhura: "No, Mr. Spock. I meant what happened to us?"
Kirk: "Mr. Sulu, if I had wanted a Russian history lesson I'd have brought along Mr. Chekov."
Spock: "Can you give me warp 8?"
Scott: "Aye, sir. And maybe a wee bit more. I'll sit on the warp engines myself and nurse them."
Spock: "That position, Mr. Scott, would be not only unavailing, but also... undignified."
Uhura: "Mr. Spock, what are the chances of the captain and the others being alive?"
Spock: "Lieutenant, we are not engaged in gambling. We are proceeding in the only logical way to return to the place they were last seen, and factually ascertain whether or not they still live."
Scott: "Mr. Spock, the ship feels wrong."
Spock: "'Feels', Mr. Scott?"
Scott: "I know it doesn't make sense. Instrumentation reads correct, but the feel is wrong! It's something I can't put into words."
Spock: "That is obvious, Mr. Scott. Avoid emotionalism and simply keep your instruments correct. Spock out."
Scott: "Watkins. Check the bypass valve on the matter-antimatter reaction chamber. Make sure it's not overheating."
John Watkins: "But Mr. Scott, the board shows correct."
Scott: "I didn't ask ye to check the board, lad!"
Scott: "Aye, Mr. Spock, and I found out why. The emergency bypass control of the matter/antimatter integrator is fused. it's completely useless. The engines are running wild. there is no way to get at them. We should reach maximum overload in 15 minutes."
Spock: "I would calculate 14.87 minutes Mr. Scott."
Scott: "Those few seconds won't make any difference Mr. Spock. because you and I and the rest of the crew will no longer be here to bandy it back and forth. This thing is going to blow up, and there's nothing in the universe that can stop it."
Scott: "I'm so close to the flow now, and it feels like ants crawling all over my body."
Spock: "Mr. Scott, I suggest you refrain from any further subjective descriptions. You now have 10 minutes and 1 9 seconds in which to perform your task."
Spock: "You have 8 minutes, 41 seconds."
Scott: "I know what time it is. I don't need a bloomin' cuckoo clock."
Spock: "Interesting."
Scott: "I find nothing interesting in the fact we're about to blow up."
Spock: "No, but the method is fascinating."
Spock: "Mr. Scott, you have accomplished your task."
Scott: "You might at least say thank you."
Spock: "For what purpose, Mr. Scott? What is it in you humans that requires an overwhelming display of emotion in a situation such as this? Two men pursue the only reasonable course of action --"
Scott: "You're welcome."
Spock: "-- and yet you feel that something else is necessary."
Sulu: "Stop, or I'll shoot! I don't want to have to kill a woman!"
Sulu: (looking at D'Amato's grave) "It looks so lonely there."
McCoy: "It would be worse if he had company."
Sulu: "Doctor, how can you joke about it?"
McCoy: "I'm not joking. Until we know what killed him, none of us are safe."
Let That Be Your Last Battlefield
Lokai: "You're from the planet Earth. There is no persecution on your planet?"
Chekov: "There was persecution on Earth once; I remember reading about it in my history class."
Sulu: "Yes, but that was back in the 20th century – there's no such primitive thinking today."
Spock: "Fascinating. Two irrevocably hostile humanoids."
Scotty: "Disgusting is what I call them."
Spock: "That description is not scientifically accurate."
Scotty: "Mr. Spock, the word 'disgusting' describes exactly what I feel about those two."
Kirk: "That's enough for today. Those two are beginning to affect you."
Kirk: "What's the matter with you? Do you hear Spock –- your planet's dead! There's no one alive on Cheron because of hate! Give yourselves time to grieve; give up your hate! You're welcome to live with us. Listen to me –- you both must end up dead if you don't stop hating!"
Uhura: "It doesn't make any sense."
Spock: "To expect sense from two mentalities of such extreme viewpoints is not logical."
Sulu: "But their planet's dead. Does it matter now which one's right?"
Spock: "Not to Lokai and Bele. All that matters to them... is their hate."
Uhura: "Do you suppose that's all they ever had, sir?"
Kirk: "No. But that's all they have left."
Whom Gods Destroy
"Queen to queen's level three." -sign
"Queen to king's level one." -countersign
Garth: "I am master of the universe, and I must claim my domain."
Kirk: "I agree there was a time when war was necessary, and you were our greatest warrior. I studied your victory at Axanar when I was a cadet. in fact, it's still required reading."
Garth: "As well it should be."
Kirk: "Very well. But my first visit to Axanar was as a new-fledged cadet on a peace mission."
Garth: "Peace mission! Politicians and weaklings!"
Kirk: "They were humanitarians and statesmen, and they had a dream--a dream that became a reality and spread throughout the stars, a dream that made Mr. Spock and me brothers."
Garth: "Mr. Spock, do you consider Captain Kirk and yourself brothers?"
Spock: "Captain Kirk speaks somewhat figuratively and with undue emotion. However, what he says is logical and I do, in fact, agree with it."
Garth: "You do refuse to enter into the spirit of the thing, don't you, Captain? Perhaps you'd like a larger role in the ceremony. You could serve as human sacrifice."
Kirk: "No, I wouldn't enjoy that at all."
Kirk: "Mr. Spock, um, letting yourself be hit on the head, and I presume you let yourself be hit on the head, is not exactly a method King Solomon would have approved."
Marta: "I'm the most beautiful woman on this planet."
Garth: "You're the only woman on this planet, you stupid cow!"
Marta: "Why can't I blow off just one of his ears?"
Garth: "Stop it, Marta. Mr. Spock will think we are lacking in hospitality!"
Marta: "He is my lover, and I must kill him!"
Spock: "She seems to have worked out an infallible method for assuring permanent male fidelity. Interesting."
The Mark of Gideon
Spock: "We must acknowledge -– once and for all –- that the purpose of diplomacy is to prolong a crisis."
Odona: "How can you bear to look at me after the way I've deceived you?"
Kirk: "Well, at least you owe me the privilege of looking at you."
Odona: "You are a gentleman, James Kirk."
Odona: (to Kirk) "As crowded as my planet is, I could wish for it to hold one more person."
The Lights of Zetar
McCoy: "Somehow I find transporting into the darkness unnerving."
Kirk: "Scotty, where've you been? Where are you?"
Scott: "In the sickbay."
Kirk: "Are you sick?"
Scott: "Oh, no. I was just checkin' on the lass. She's going to be fine. There's nothing wrong."
Kirk: "Well, I'm relieved to hear your prognosis, Mr. Scott. Is the doctor there, or will I find him in Engineering?"
Mira Romaine: "They control me! Oh, Scotty. Scotty, I'd rather die than hurt you! I'd rather die!"
Scott: "All right, now. What's all this talk of dying? They've called a turn on us 3 out of 4 times. Well, that's a better average than anyone deserves. It's our turn, now. We'll fight them. So let's not hear anything more about dying."
Chekov: "I didn't think Mr. Scott would go for the brainy type."
Sulu: "I don't he's even noticed she has a brain."
Kirk: "Well this is an Enterprise first. Dr. McCoy, Mr. Spock, and Engineer Scott find themselves in complete agreement. Can I stand the strain?"
The Cloud Minders
Droxine: "I have never before met a Vulcan, sir."
Spock: "Nor I a work of art, madam."
Droxine: "You only take a mate once every seven years?"
Spock: "The seven-year cycle is biologically inherent in all Vulcans. At that time, the mating drive outweighs all other motivations."
Droxine: "And is there nothing that can disturb that cycle, Mr. Spock?"
Spock: "Extreme feminine beauty... is always disturbing, madam."
The Way to Eden
Kirk: "Mr. Spock... What does 'Herbert' mean ?"
Spock: "It is, um, um, somewhat, uh, uncomplimentary, Captain. Herbert was a minor official... notorious for his rigid and limited... patterns of thought."
Kirk: "Well, I shall try to be less rigid in my thinking."
Spock: "It is not so much sympathy, captain, as it is... curiosity -- a need to understand. They regard themselves as aliens in their own worlds; a condition with which I am somewhat familiar."
Requiem for Methuselah
Kirk: "Indeed, your greeting, not ours, lacked a certain benevolence."
Flint: "The result of pressures which are... not your concern."
Kirk: "Yes. Well, those pressures are everywhere in everyone, urging him to what you call savagery: the private hells, the inner needs and mysteries, the beast of instinct. As human beings, that is the way it is. To be human is to be complex. You can't avoid a little ugliness... from within and from without."
McCoy: "Saurian brandy, 100 years old. Jim? Please. Mr. Spock, I know you won't have one. Heaven forbid those mathematically perfect brain waves be corrupted by this all-too-human vice."
Spock: "Thank you, Doctor. I will have a brandy."
McCoy: "Do you think the two of us can handle a drunk Vulcan? Once alcohol hits that green blood..."
Spock: "If I appear distracted, it is because of what I have seen. I am close to experiencing an unaccustomed emotion."
McCoy: "I'll drink to that. What emotion?"
Spock: "Envy."
Kirk: "The very old and lonely man, and a young and lonely man; we put on a pretty poor show, didn't we?"
McCoy: "You wouldn't understand that, would you, Spock? You see, I feel sorrier for you than I do for [Jim]... because you'll never know the things that love can drive a man to: the ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate chances, the glorious failures, the glorious victories. All of these things you'll never know... simply because the word 'love' isn't written into your book. Good night, Spock."
Spock: "Good night, Doctor."
Spock: (mind-melds with Kirk) "Forget..."
The Savage Curtain
Captain’s log, stardate 5906.4. Who or what has been beamed aboard our vessel? An alien who has changed himself into this form? An illusion? I cannot conceive it possible that Abraham Lincoln could have actually been reincarnated. And yet his kindness, his gentle wisdom, his humor, everything about him is so right.
Lincoln: "No need to check your voice telegraph device. Do I gather that you recognize me?"
Kirk: "I recognize what you appear to be."
Lincoln: "And appearances can be most deceiving, but not in this case, James Kirk. I am Abraham Lincoln."
Spock: "Fascinating."
Lincoln: "I have been described in many ways, Mr. Spock, but never with that word."
Lincoln: "What a charming Negress. Oh, forgive me, my dear. I know in my time some used that term as a description of property."
Uhura: "But why should I object to that term, sir? In our century, we've learned not to fear words."
Kirk: "The very reason for the existence of our starships is contact with other life. Although the method is beyond our comprehension, we have been offered contact. Therefore, I shall beam down."
McCoy: "Jim, I would be the last to advise you on your command image."
Kirk: "I doubt that, Bones, but continue."
McCoy: "You're both out of your heads!"
Scott: "Aye!"
Kirk: "And you're both on the edge of insubordination!"
McCoy: "Would I be on the edge of insubordination to remind the captain that this smells of something happening to him that I might not be able to patch back together again?"
Surak: "I am pleased to see that we have differences. May we together become greater than the sum of both of us."
Kirk: "Your Surak is a brave man."
Spock: "Men of peace usually are, Captain. On Vulcan, he is revered as the father of our civilization. The father image holds much meaning for us."
Kirk: "You show emotion, Spock?"
Spock: "I deeply respect what he has accomplished."
Lincoln: "Do you drink whiskey?"
Kirk: "Occasionally. Why?"
Lincoln: "Because you have qualities very much like those of another man I admire greatly -- General Grant."
Lincoln: "One matter further, gentlemen. We fight on their level. With trickery, brutality, finality. We match their evil. I know, James. I was reputed to be a gentle man. But I was commander in chief during the four bloodiest years of my country's history. I gave orders that sent a hundred thousand men to their death. at the hands of their brothers. There is no honorable way to kill, no gentle way to destroy. There is nothing good in war except its ending. And you are fighting for the lives of your crew."
Kirk: "Your campaign, Mr. President."
All Our Yesterdays
Kirk: "Are you still in the library?"
Spock:"Indeed not! We are in a wilderness of arctic characteristics!"
MCoy: "He means it's cold!"
Spock: "Dr. McCoy is making excellent progress."
McCoy: "Mr. Spock has been practicing medicine without a license. Don't let him doctor you. I'm the doctor around here."
Spock: And known as the worst patient in the entire crew of the Enterprise."
Zarabeth: "But your friend -- he is ill."
Spock: "That is true. If I leave him, he may never regain the ship. He would be marooned in this time period. But he is no longer in danger of death, so my primary duty to him has been discharged. And if I remain here, no one of our party would be able to aid Captain Kirk."
Zarabeth: "Oh, you make it sound like an equation."
Spock: "It should be an equation! I should be able to resolve this problem logically."
Spock: "I'm behaving disgracefully. I have eaten animal flesh and I've enjoyed it. What is wrong with me?"
McCoy: "You listen to me, you pointed-eared Vulcan --!"
Spock: "I don't like that. I don't think I ever did, and now I'm sure."
McCoy: "What's happening to you, Spock?"
Spock: "Nothing that shouldn't have happened long ago."
McCoy: "Are you trying to kill me, Spock? Is that what you really want? Think. What are you feeling? Rage? Jealousy? Have you ever had those feelings before?"
Spock: "This is impossible. Impossible. I am a Vulcan."
McCoy: "The Vulcan you knew won't exist for another 5,000 years. Think, man. What's happening on your planet right now, at this very moment?"
Spock: "My ancestors are barbarians, warlike barbarians. Who nearly killed themselves off with their own passions."
McCoy: "Spock, you're reverting into your ancestors... 5,000 years before you were born!"
Spock: "I've lost myself. I do not know who I am."
Turnabout Intruder
(The one where Kirk is body-swapped with a woman. You know what, just go watch this one.)
Spectre of the Gun
Chekov: "A lot of people and things have tried to kill me... You'd be surprised."
Spock: "Gentlemen, there is one thing which requires the immediate attention of all of us -- specifically, our future."
Kirk: "But not this minute, Spock. It takes us... a little longer."
Spock: "I understand the feeling, Captain."
McCoy: "You talk about another man's feelings. What do you feel, Spock?"
Spock: "My feelings are not subject for discussion, Doctor."
McCoy: "Because there are no feelings to discuss!"
Scotty: "Chekov is dead! I say it now, and I can hardly believe it, but you worked closely with him. That deserves some memorial."
McCoy: "Spock will have no truck with grief, Scotty. It's human."
Kirk: "Bones... Scotty..."
Spock: "Captain... it's quite all right. They forget I am half human."
Melkotian: "Captain Kirk... you did not kill. Is this the way of your kind?"
Kirk: "It is. We fight only when there's no choice. We prefer the ways of peaceful contact. I speak for an alliance of fellow creatures who believe in the same thing. We have sought you out to join us. Our mission is still one of peace."
Elaan of Troyius
(The number of people who don't get that this is a play on "Helen of Troy" astounds me.)
Kirk: "Ambassador, I'd like to speak to you."
Elaan: "You have not been dismissed."
Kirk: "May I have your permission to go?"
Elaan: "You are now dismissed."
Kirk: "Why, thank you."
Elaan: "You are warned, Captain, never to touch me again!"
Kirk: "If I were to touch you again, Your Glory, it would be to administer an ancient Earth custom called a spanking!"
Kirk: "If that's the only way you can get gratification, I'll arrange to have the whole room filled from floor to ceiling with breakable objects."
Elaan: "I will not be humiliated!"
Kirk: "Then act in a civilized fashion."
Elaan: "I did not give you permission to leave!"
Kirk: "I didn't ask for any."
Spock: "Captain, your analysis of the situation was flawless, anticipating that she would deny you admittance. However, the logic by which you arrived at your conclusion escapes me."
Kirk: "Spock, the women on your planet are logical. That's the only planet in this galaxy that can make that claim!"
Kirk: "Be pleasant no matter how much it hurts."
Kirk: "The prejudices people feel about each other disappear when they get to know each other."
McCoy: "Spock, I've finally found the antidote to the Elasian tears!"
Spock: "You're too late, Doctor."
McCoy: "Are you out of your Vulcan mind? Do you know how long I've been working on this?"
Spock: "The cure to the tears of an Elasian is a starship. The Enterprise infected the Captain long before the Dohlman did."
McCoy: "Well, I seriously doubt that there's any cure to a starship."
Spock: "On this particular occasion, Doctor, I agree with you."
The Paradise Syndrome
(The one where Kirk gets amnesia, gets married, and overwhelms Spock during a mindmeld. Also, Miramanee's pregnancy is considered by many Star Trek fans to be the only incontrovertible evidence that Captain Kirk had sexual relations with an alien or human female during the time frame of the original series. As opposed to a lot of kissing. Me, I've got my doubts.)
McCoy: "Well, Spock, you took your calculated risk in your calculated Vulcan way, and you lost -- you lost for us, you lost for that planet, and you lost for Jim."
McCoy: "Back to that planet? Without warp speed, it'll take months."
Spock: "Exactly 59.223 days, Doctor, and that asteroid will be four hours behind us all the way."
McCoy: "Well, then what's the use? We might not be able to save the captain even if he still is alive. We might not be able to save anything, including this ship! You haven't heard a word I've said. All you've been doing is staring at that blasted obelisk."
Spock: "Another calculated Vulcan risk, Doctor."
Spock: (after McCoy asks him why he broke the mindmeld so soon) "His mind -- he is ... an extremely dynamic individual."
Kirk: (gets up) "It worked."
Miramanee: (dying) "When I am better... it will be as it was, will it... not?"
Kirk: "If that's what you want."
Miramanee: "We will live long and happy lives. I will bear you many strong sons. I love you always."
Kirk: "And I love you, Miramanee... always." (they kiss)
Miramanee: "Each kiss... is as the first." (she dies)
The Enterprise Incident
Enterprise medical log, stardate 5027.3. Dr. Leonard McCoy recording; I'm concerned about Captain Kirk. He shows indications of increasing tension and emotional stress. I can find no reason for the captain's behavior, except possibly that we've been on patrol too long without relief and diversion. He has resisted all of my attempts to run a psychological profile on him.
Chapel: "Then Mr. Spock isn't a traitor; you knew that all along and you didn't–-"
McCoy: "I didn't know until I beamed aboard the Romulan vessel; Jim and Spock were working under Federation orders."
Scotty: "All right doctor, what's so urgent that... captain? Captain Kirk?"
Kirk: (surgically altered to look like a Romulan) "Yes?"
Scotty: "Oh, you look like the devil himself, but as long as you're alive; what's it all about?"
Kirk: "Are the Romulan hostages still aboard?"
Scotty: "They're in the brig, sir."
Kirk: "I'll need their Romulan uniforms."
Scotty:(chuckle) "Aye -– it'll be a pleasure!"
Romulan Commander: "Why would you do this to me?! What are you that you could do this?!"
Spock: "First officer of the Enterprise."
Spock: "It is regrettable that you were made an unwilling passenger. It was not intentional. All the Federation wanted was the cloaking device."
Romulan Commander: "The Federation? And what did you want?"
Spock: "It was my only interest when I boarded your vessel."
Romulan Commander: "And that's exactly all you came away with."
Spock: "You underestimate yourself, Commander."
Romulan Commander: "You realize that very soon we will learn to penetrate the cloaking device you stole."
Spock: "Obviously. Military secrets are the most fleeting of all. I hope that you and I exchanged something more... permanent."
Romulan Commander: "It was your choice."
Spock: "It was the only choice possible. You would not respect any other."
Romulan Commander: "It will be our secret."
McCoy: (over the intercom) "You're due in surgery. I'm going to bob your ears." ♥ ♥ ♥
Spock: "Captain, please go. Somehow, they do not look aesthetically agreeable on humans."
McCoy: "Well, are you coming down or do you want to go through life looking like your first officer?"
Kirk: "I'm on my way!"
And the Children Shall Lead
(The one where Kirk has a panic attack in the turbolift with Spock. Oh, and also some kids kill their families and take over the ship.)
Kirk: "Take Mr. Sulu to his quarters, he's relieved of duty. Mr. Leslie egdirb hte egdirb kcops. Enifnoc mih ot sretrauq... Egdirb kcops morf eht egdirb! I dias... Ekat Rm Ulus ot sih sretrauq... Evomer tnanetueil uruhu and kcops dna enifnoc meht ot sretrauq! Did you hear me? Did you hear me!?"
Kirk: "Scotty. I want you to override the bridge navigation system. Lay in a course for Starbase 4."
Scott: "I can't do that, sir!"
Kirk: "Why not?!"
Scott: "These are very sensitive instruments! I will not have you upset their delicate balance! We would all be lost! Forever lost! Go away, now. Go away or we'll kill you!"
Uhura: "...Captain... I'm old... disease... a slow horrible death... disease captain!"
Spock: "Captain, so long as the children are present, there is danger. They are the carriers."
Kirk: "Spock, they're not the alien beings. They're children being misled."
Spock: "They are followers. Without followers, evil cannot spread."
Kirk: "They're children."
Spock: "Captain, the 430 men and women on board the Enterprise and the ship itself are endangered by these children."
Kirk: "They don't understand the evil that they're doing."
Spock: "Perhaps that is true, but the evil that is within them is spreading fast, and unless we can find a way to remove it..."
Kirk: "We'll have to kill them."
Gorgan: "I would ask you to join me, but you are gentle, and that is a grave weakness."
Kirk: "We're also very strong."
Gorgan: "Ah, but your strength is canceled by your gentleness. You are full of goodness. Such as you cannot be changed."
Spock's Brain
(Spock's brain is stolen. McCoy installs a remote control device. I'm not even kidding.)
Kirk: "You've got him on complete life support; was he dead?"
McCoy: "Jim..."
Kirk: "Come on, Bones, what's the mystery?!"
McCoy: "His brain is gone!"
Kirk: (mouths "His brain?")
Kirk: "We'll have to take him with us."
McCoy: "Take... Take him where?"
Kirk: "In search of his brain, doctor."
Kirk: "Readout, Mr. Chekov."
Chekov: "No structures, Captain. No mechanized objects that I can read. No surface consumption, no generation of energy. Atmosphere is perfectly all right, of course. Temperature, a high maximum of 40. Livable."
Kirk: "You have a thick skin."
Spock: (disembodied voice) "It is unexpectedly pleasant to hear your voice again, Captain!"
Kirk: (into his communicator) "Spock. Spock. Come on, Spock. Spo~ock, you were on this frequency, Spock."
Spock: (from the communicator as Kirk walks past Spock's body) "Yes, captain. I am still here."
Spock: (rapidly babbling)
McCoy: "I knew it, I should never have done it!"
Kirk: "What?"
McCoy: "I never should have reconnected his mouth."
Kirk: "Well, we took the risk."
Spock: (still talking. the other men laugh)
Is There in Truth No Beauty?
McCoy: "How can one so beautiful condemn herself to look upon ugliness for the rest of her life?"
Miranda: "How can one so full of the love of life condemn himself to look upon sickness?"
Kirk: "Most of us are attracted by beauty and repelled by ugliness -- one of the last of our prejudices."
Miranda: (taking a rose from Kirk) "I suppose it has thorns?"
Kirk: "I never met a rose that didn't."
Larry Marvick: "Don't love her! Don't love her! She'll kill you if you love her... I love you, Miranda." (dies)
Kirk: (to Miranda, who refuses to help save Spock) "Yes, you know your rival, don't you? You couldn't keep him from making a mind-link with Kollos – something that you couldn't do yourself! ... With my words, I'll make you hear such ugliness, that Spock saw when he looked at Kollos with his naked eyes – the ugliness is within you! ...Your passion to see Kollos is madness. You can never see! Never! But Spock saw Kollos, and for that he must die? Mental hatred! The stench of jealousy permeates you! Why don't you strangle him while he lies there? Kollos knows what's in your heart! You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to Kollos."
The Empath
McCoy: "Well, she seems harmless enough."
Spock: "The sand bats of Manark IV appear to be inanimate rock crystals... until they attack."
McCoy: "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm going to call her 'Gem'."
Spock: "'Gem', doctor?"
McCoy: "Well, that's better than 'Hey, you'."
McCoy: "Men weren't intended to live this far underground; it's just not natural."
Kirk: "And space travel is?"
Spock: "Some men spend the majority of their lives in mines beneath the surface."
McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not a coal miner."
Kirk: "The best defense is a strong offense, and I intend to start offending right now."
Kirk: "And what do you want from me?"
Lal: "We've already observed the intensity of your passions and gauged your capacity to love others. Now we want you to reveal to us your courage and strength of will."
Kirk: "Why? What is it you hope to prove? If my death is to have any meaning, at least tell me what I'm dying for!"
Thann: "If you live, you will have your answer."
(McCoy knocked out the other two to make sure he was the one tortured)
Kirk: "Why did you let him do it?"
Spock: "I was convinced in the same way you were: by the good doctor's hypo."
Kirk: "How long?" (until McCoy dies)
Spock: "It could happen anytime."
McCoy: "The correct medical phrase, eh, Spock?" (he has a coughing fit; Spock holds him) "You've got a...a good bedside manner, Spock."
Kirk: "How will the death of our friend serve this purpose?"
Lal: "His death will not serve it, but her willingness to give her life for him will. You were her teachers."
Kirk: "We were? What could she learn from us?"
Lal: "You will to survive. Your love of life. Your passion to know. They are recorded in her being."
McCoy: (refusing to let Gem absorb his wounds) "I can't destroy life, even if it is to save my own."
Kirk: "If death is all you understand... here are four lives for you. We will not leave our friend. You've lost the capacity to feel the emotions you brought Gem here to experience. You don't understand what it is to live. Love and compassion are dead in you, you're nothing but intellect!"
Lal: "Your actions were spontaneous. Everything that is truest and best in all species of beings has been revealed by you. Those are the qualities that make a civilization worthy to survive."
The Tholian Web
McCoy: "Jim, this ship is dissolving. My hand just passed through a man and a table."
Spock: "A few hours ago, the Captain elected to remain on board the Defiant so that three members of this crew would have the best chance of returning safely to the Enterprise. His concern was not only for them, but for all the members of the crew of this ship. You all know the sequence of events. We were fired upon by the Tholian ship. At that time, Captain Kirk may have been alive. I deemed it necessary to return the Tholian fire for the safety of the Enterprise. The Tholian ship has been disabled. But as a result of the battle, we must accept the fact that Captain Kirk is no longer alive."
(A crewman goes berserk and is carried out by three security men.)
McCoy: "Take him to Sickbay. Put him in restraint."
Spock: "I shall not attempt to voice the quality of respect and admiration which Captain Kirk commanded. Each of you must evaluate the loss in the privacy of your own thoughts."
Scotty: "Attention." (a respectful pause) "Dismissed."
McCoy: (to Spock) "The captain's last order is top priority, and you will honor that order before you take over. He was a hero in every sense of the word yet his life was sacrificed for nothing! The one thing that would have given his death meaning is the safety of the Enterprise. Now you've made that impossible."
Kirk's last orders (on tape):
"Bones, Spock. Since you are playing this tape, we will assume that I am dead, that the tactical situation is critical, and both of you are locked in mortal combat. It means, Spock, that you have control of the ship and are probably making the most difficult decisions of your career. I can offer only one small piece of advice for whatever it's worth: use every scrap of logic and knowledge you have to save the ship, but temper your judgment with intuitive insight. I believe you have those qualities -- but if you can't find them in yourself, seek out McCoy. Ask his advice, and, if you find it sound, take it. Bones, you've heard what I just told Spock. Help him if you can, but remember he is the captain; his decisions must be followed, without question. You might find that he is capable of human insight and human error. They are most difficult to defend, but you will find that he is deserving of the same loyalty and confidence each of you have given me. Take care."
McCoy: "Spock, I, uh... I'm sorry. It does hurt, doesn't it?"
Spock: "What would you have me say, Doctor?"
McCoy: "Must be this space is getting to me too. I know it's nothing you've done Spock, I... I'm sorry."
Spock: "I understand, doctor. I'm sure the captain would simply have said: 'Forget it, Bones'."
Uhura: "I see him!"
Chekov: "There he is!"
Sulu: "It's the Captain!"
Kirk: "I had a whole universe to myself after the Defiant was thrown out. There was absolutely no one else in it. I must say I prefer a crowded universe much better!"
Kirk: "How'd you two get along without me?"
McCoy: "Oh, we managed. Mr. Spock gave the orders, and I found the answers."
Kirk: "Good. No problems between you?"
Spock: "None worth reporting, Captain."
Kirk: "Try me."
Spock: "Ummm, only such minor disturbances, as are inevitable when humans are involved."
Kirk: "Which humans, Mr. Spock?"
McCoy: "What he means that when humans become involved with Vulcans, Jim."
Kirk: "Ah, yes. I understand. Well, I hope my last orders were helpful in solving any problems that you don't feel worth reporting."
Spock: "Orders, Captain?"
McCoy: "What orders are you referring to, Jim?"
Kirk: "My last orders. The last orders that I left for both... for both of you. The last taped orders."
McCoy: "Oh, those orders! Well, there wasn't time. We never had a chance to listen to them."
Spock: "No. You see, the crisis was upon us, and then passed so quickly, Captain, that we..."
Kirk: "Good. Good. Well, I hope we won't have similar opportunities to test those orders... which you never heard."
For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky
(The one where McCoy gets married. What can I say, Natira knows a good thing when she sees it. She's actually pretty awesome.)
McCoy: "He has one year to live at the most."
Kirk: "Who is it?"
McCoy: "The ship's chief medical officer."
Kirk: "You?"
McCoy: "I'll be most effective on the job in the time if you'll keep this to yourself."
Natira: "I wish you to stay here, on Yonada, as my mate."
McCoy: "But we're strangers to each other."
Natira: "But is not that the nature of men and women, that the pleasure is in the learning of each other?"
McCoy: "I have an illness for which there is no cure... I have one year to live."
Natira: "Yesterday, my heart did not speak; it sustained my life, nothing more. Now, it sings. I would be happy to have that feeling for a day, a week, a month... a year, whatever the Creators have in store for us."
Natira: "Is truth not truth for all?"
Day of the Dove
Kirk: "We must talk to Kang. Bury the hatchet."
Spock: "An appropriate choice of terms, Captain. However it is notoriously difficult to negotiate a truce with the Klingons once blood has been drawn."
Kang: "Out! We need no urging to hate humans! But for the present, only a fool fights in a burning house."
Chekov: "Lies! They want to start a war by pretending we did it!"
McCoy: "Chekov's right, Jim. The Klingons claim to have honored the truce, but there've been incidents, raids on our outposts."
Kirk: "No proof that the Klingons committed them."
McCoy: "What proof do we need? We know what a Klingon is!"
McCoy: "There are rules, even in war –- you don't keep hacking at a man after he's down!"
Spock: "May I say that I have not thoroughly enjoyed working with humans. I find their illogic and foolish emotions a constant irritant."
Scotty: "Then transfer out! Freak!"
Scotty: "Keep your Vulcan hands off me! Just keep away. Your feelings might be hurt, you green-blooded half-breed!"
Spock: "I, too, felt a brief surge of racial bigotry –- most distasteful."
Spock: "No one can guarantee the actions of another."
Spock: "Those who hate and fight must stop themselves. Otherwise, it is not stopped. "
Mara: "You are not going to–?"
Kirk: "The Federation doesn't kill or mistreat its prisoners; you've been listening to propaganda ... fables."
Mara: "We have always fought. We must. We are hunters, Captain, tracking and taking what we need. We have poor planets in the Klingon systems. We must push outward to survive."
Kirk: "There's another way to survive...Mutual trust and help."
Kirk: "The Klingons have maintained a dueling tradition. They think they can beat us with swords."
Kirk: "All right." (tosses sword aside) "All right! In the heart, in the head; I won't stay dead! And then, I'll come back and do the same to you –- I'll kill you! And it goes on and on; the good old game of war! Kill the bad guys!"
Kirk: "This is Captain Kirk. A truce is ordered. The fighting is over. Lay down your weapons."
Kang: "This is Kang. Cease hostilities. Disarm."
Plato's Stepchildren
(Aliens made them do it. Interracial kiss.)
Alexander: "They're going to kill you after a while. You know that!"
Kirk: "In that case, what's the point in you dying, too, Alexander?"
Alexander: "...That's the first time anyone's ever thought of my life before his own."
McCoy: "The release of emotion is what keeps us healthy. Emotionally healthy."
Spock: "That may be, Doctor. However, I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently unhealthy for those closest to you."
Kirk: "Where I come from, size, shape or color makes no difference."
Alexander: "You think that's what I want? Become one of them? Become my own enemy? Just lie around like a big blob of nothing and have things done for me? No, sir! If I want to do something, I'll do it for myself! If I want to laugh or cry, I'll do it for myself! You can keep your precious power! All I ask is one thing. If you do make it out of here, take me with you!"
Uhura: (forced into Captain Kirk's arms) "I'm so frightened, Captain. I'm so very frightened."
Kirk: "That's the way they want you to feel. Makes them think that they're alive."
Uhura: "I know it, but... I wish I could stop trembling."
Kirk: "Try not to think of them." (the Platonians laugh as they force them closer and closer together) "Try..."
Uhura: "I'm thinking... I'm thinking of all the times on the Enterprise when I was scared to death..." (they're forced to embrace) "...and I would see you so busy at your command, and I would hear your voice from all parts of the ship... and my fears would fade. And now they're making me tremble. But I'm not afraid. I am not afraid..."
Wink of an Eye
(Aliens kidnap Kirk for breeding stock.)
McCoy: "Compton! I was looking at him. I was looking right at him, and then... he just wasn't there!"
Deela: "They cannot hear you, Captain. To their ears, you sound like an insect. That's your description, Captain. Accurate, if unflattering. Really there is nothing wrong with them."
Kirk: "What have you done?"
Deela: "Changed you. So you are like me now. Your crew cannot see you or any of us because of the acceleration. We move in the wink of an eye. Oh, there is a scientific explanation for it, but all that really matters is that you can see me, and talk to me... and... we can go on from there."
Kirk: "Why?"
Deela: "Because I like you. Didn't you guess? Or are you so accustomed to being kissed by invisible women?"
Deela: "Are you married, Captain? No family? No attachments? I know. You're married to your career, and you never look at another woman."
Kirk: "Well, if she's pretty enough... I'll look."
That Which Survives
(Spock is really snotty in this one. X3)
Uhura: "Mr. Spock! Are you all right?"
Spock: "Yes. I believe no permanent damage was done."
Uhura: "What happened?"
Spock: "The occipital area of my head seems to have impacted with the arm of the chair."
Uhura: "No, Mr. Spock. I meant what happened to us?"
Kirk: "Mr. Sulu, if I had wanted a Russian history lesson I'd have brought along Mr. Chekov."
Spock: "Can you give me warp 8?"
Scott: "Aye, sir. And maybe a wee bit more. I'll sit on the warp engines myself and nurse them."
Spock: "That position, Mr. Scott, would be not only unavailing, but also... undignified."
Uhura: "Mr. Spock, what are the chances of the captain and the others being alive?"
Spock: "Lieutenant, we are not engaged in gambling. We are proceeding in the only logical way to return to the place they were last seen, and factually ascertain whether or not they still live."
Scott: "Mr. Spock, the ship feels wrong."
Spock: "'Feels', Mr. Scott?"
Scott: "I know it doesn't make sense. Instrumentation reads correct, but the feel is wrong! It's something I can't put into words."
Spock: "That is obvious, Mr. Scott. Avoid emotionalism and simply keep your instruments correct. Spock out."
Scott: "Watkins. Check the bypass valve on the matter-antimatter reaction chamber. Make sure it's not overheating."
John Watkins: "But Mr. Scott, the board shows correct."
Scott: "I didn't ask ye to check the board, lad!"
Scott: "Aye, Mr. Spock, and I found out why. The emergency bypass control of the matter/antimatter integrator is fused. it's completely useless. The engines are running wild. there is no way to get at them. We should reach maximum overload in 15 minutes."
Spock: "I would calculate 14.87 minutes Mr. Scott."
Scott: "Those few seconds won't make any difference Mr. Spock. because you and I and the rest of the crew will no longer be here to bandy it back and forth. This thing is going to blow up, and there's nothing in the universe that can stop it."
Scott: "I'm so close to the flow now, and it feels like ants crawling all over my body."
Spock: "Mr. Scott, I suggest you refrain from any further subjective descriptions. You now have 10 minutes and 1 9 seconds in which to perform your task."
Spock: "You have 8 minutes, 41 seconds."
Scott: "I know what time it is. I don't need a bloomin' cuckoo clock."
Spock: "Interesting."
Scott: "I find nothing interesting in the fact we're about to blow up."
Spock: "No, but the method is fascinating."
Spock: "Mr. Scott, you have accomplished your task."
Scott: "You might at least say thank you."
Spock: "For what purpose, Mr. Scott? What is it in you humans that requires an overwhelming display of emotion in a situation such as this? Two men pursue the only reasonable course of action --"
Scott: "You're welcome."
Spock: "-- and yet you feel that something else is necessary."
Sulu: "Stop, or I'll shoot! I don't want to have to kill a woman!"
Sulu: (looking at D'Amato's grave) "It looks so lonely there."
McCoy: "It would be worse if he had company."
Sulu: "Doctor, how can you joke about it?"
McCoy: "I'm not joking. Until we know what killed him, none of us are safe."
Let That Be Your Last Battlefield
Lokai: "You're from the planet Earth. There is no persecution on your planet?"
Chekov: "There was persecution on Earth once; I remember reading about it in my history class."
Sulu: "Yes, but that was back in the 20th century – there's no such primitive thinking today."
Spock: "Fascinating. Two irrevocably hostile humanoids."
Scotty: "Disgusting is what I call them."
Spock: "That description is not scientifically accurate."
Scotty: "Mr. Spock, the word 'disgusting' describes exactly what I feel about those two."
Kirk: "That's enough for today. Those two are beginning to affect you."
Kirk: "What's the matter with you? Do you hear Spock –- your planet's dead! There's no one alive on Cheron because of hate! Give yourselves time to grieve; give up your hate! You're welcome to live with us. Listen to me –- you both must end up dead if you don't stop hating!"
Uhura: "It doesn't make any sense."
Spock: "To expect sense from two mentalities of such extreme viewpoints is not logical."
Sulu: "But their planet's dead. Does it matter now which one's right?"
Spock: "Not to Lokai and Bele. All that matters to them... is their hate."
Uhura: "Do you suppose that's all they ever had, sir?"
Kirk: "No. But that's all they have left."
Whom Gods Destroy
"Queen to queen's level three." -sign
"Queen to king's level one." -countersign
Garth: "I am master of the universe, and I must claim my domain."
Kirk: "I agree there was a time when war was necessary, and you were our greatest warrior. I studied your victory at Axanar when I was a cadet. in fact, it's still required reading."
Garth: "As well it should be."
Kirk: "Very well. But my first visit to Axanar was as a new-fledged cadet on a peace mission."
Garth: "Peace mission! Politicians and weaklings!"
Kirk: "They were humanitarians and statesmen, and they had a dream--a dream that became a reality and spread throughout the stars, a dream that made Mr. Spock and me brothers."
Garth: "Mr. Spock, do you consider Captain Kirk and yourself brothers?"
Spock: "Captain Kirk speaks somewhat figuratively and with undue emotion. However, what he says is logical and I do, in fact, agree with it."
Garth: "You do refuse to enter into the spirit of the thing, don't you, Captain? Perhaps you'd like a larger role in the ceremony. You could serve as human sacrifice."
Kirk: "No, I wouldn't enjoy that at all."
Kirk: "Mr. Spock, um, letting yourself be hit on the head, and I presume you let yourself be hit on the head, is not exactly a method King Solomon would have approved."
Marta: "I'm the most beautiful woman on this planet."
Garth: "You're the only woman on this planet, you stupid cow!"
Marta: "Why can't I blow off just one of his ears?"
Garth: "Stop it, Marta. Mr. Spock will think we are lacking in hospitality!"
Marta: "He is my lover, and I must kill him!"
Spock: "She seems to have worked out an infallible method for assuring permanent male fidelity. Interesting."
The Mark of Gideon
Spock: "We must acknowledge -– once and for all –- that the purpose of diplomacy is to prolong a crisis."
Odona: "How can you bear to look at me after the way I've deceived you?"
Kirk: "Well, at least you owe me the privilege of looking at you."
Odona: "You are a gentleman, James Kirk."
Odona: (to Kirk) "As crowded as my planet is, I could wish for it to hold one more person."
The Lights of Zetar
McCoy: "Somehow I find transporting into the darkness unnerving."
Kirk: "Scotty, where've you been? Where are you?"
Scott: "In the sickbay."
Kirk: "Are you sick?"
Scott: "Oh, no. I was just checkin' on the lass. She's going to be fine. There's nothing wrong."
Kirk: "Well, I'm relieved to hear your prognosis, Mr. Scott. Is the doctor there, or will I find him in Engineering?"
Mira Romaine: "They control me! Oh, Scotty. Scotty, I'd rather die than hurt you! I'd rather die!"
Scott: "All right, now. What's all this talk of dying? They've called a turn on us 3 out of 4 times. Well, that's a better average than anyone deserves. It's our turn, now. We'll fight them. So let's not hear anything more about dying."
Chekov: "I didn't think Mr. Scott would go for the brainy type."
Sulu: "I don't he's even noticed she has a brain."
Kirk: "Well this is an Enterprise first. Dr. McCoy, Mr. Spock, and Engineer Scott find themselves in complete agreement. Can I stand the strain?"
The Cloud Minders
Droxine: "I have never before met a Vulcan, sir."
Spock: "Nor I a work of art, madam."
Droxine: "You only take a mate once every seven years?"
Spock: "The seven-year cycle is biologically inherent in all Vulcans. At that time, the mating drive outweighs all other motivations."
Droxine: "And is there nothing that can disturb that cycle, Mr. Spock?"
Spock: "Extreme feminine beauty... is always disturbing, madam."
The Way to Eden
Kirk: "Mr. Spock... What does 'Herbert' mean ?"
Spock: "It is, um, um, somewhat, uh, uncomplimentary, Captain. Herbert was a minor official... notorious for his rigid and limited... patterns of thought."
Kirk: "Well, I shall try to be less rigid in my thinking."
Spock: "It is not so much sympathy, captain, as it is... curiosity -- a need to understand. They regard themselves as aliens in their own worlds; a condition with which I am somewhat familiar."
Requiem for Methuselah
Kirk: "Indeed, your greeting, not ours, lacked a certain benevolence."
Flint: "The result of pressures which are... not your concern."
Kirk: "Yes. Well, those pressures are everywhere in everyone, urging him to what you call savagery: the private hells, the inner needs and mysteries, the beast of instinct. As human beings, that is the way it is. To be human is to be complex. You can't avoid a little ugliness... from within and from without."
McCoy: "Saurian brandy, 100 years old. Jim? Please. Mr. Spock, I know you won't have one. Heaven forbid those mathematically perfect brain waves be corrupted by this all-too-human vice."
Spock: "Thank you, Doctor. I will have a brandy."
McCoy: "Do you think the two of us can handle a drunk Vulcan? Once alcohol hits that green blood..."
Spock: "If I appear distracted, it is because of what I have seen. I am close to experiencing an unaccustomed emotion."
McCoy: "I'll drink to that. What emotion?"
Spock: "Envy."
Kirk: "The very old and lonely man, and a young and lonely man; we put on a pretty poor show, didn't we?"
McCoy: "You wouldn't understand that, would you, Spock? You see, I feel sorrier for you than I do for [Jim]... because you'll never know the things that love can drive a man to: the ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate chances, the glorious failures, the glorious victories. All of these things you'll never know... simply because the word 'love' isn't written into your book. Good night, Spock."
Spock: "Good night, Doctor."
Spock: (mind-melds with Kirk) "Forget..."
The Savage Curtain
Captain’s log, stardate 5906.4. Who or what has been beamed aboard our vessel? An alien who has changed himself into this form? An illusion? I cannot conceive it possible that Abraham Lincoln could have actually been reincarnated. And yet his kindness, his gentle wisdom, his humor, everything about him is so right.
Lincoln: "No need to check your voice telegraph device. Do I gather that you recognize me?"
Kirk: "I recognize what you appear to be."
Lincoln: "And appearances can be most deceiving, but not in this case, James Kirk. I am Abraham Lincoln."
Spock: "Fascinating."
Lincoln: "I have been described in many ways, Mr. Spock, but never with that word."
Lincoln: "What a charming Negress. Oh, forgive me, my dear. I know in my time some used that term as a description of property."
Uhura: "But why should I object to that term, sir? In our century, we've learned not to fear words."
Kirk: "The very reason for the existence of our starships is contact with other life. Although the method is beyond our comprehension, we have been offered contact. Therefore, I shall beam down."
McCoy: "Jim, I would be the last to advise you on your command image."
Kirk: "I doubt that, Bones, but continue."
McCoy: "You're both out of your heads!"
Scott: "Aye!"
Kirk: "And you're both on the edge of insubordination!"
McCoy: "Would I be on the edge of insubordination to remind the captain that this smells of something happening to him that I might not be able to patch back together again?"
Surak: "I am pleased to see that we have differences. May we together become greater than the sum of both of us."
Kirk: "Your Surak is a brave man."
Spock: "Men of peace usually are, Captain. On Vulcan, he is revered as the father of our civilization. The father image holds much meaning for us."
Kirk: "You show emotion, Spock?"
Spock: "I deeply respect what he has accomplished."
Lincoln: "Do you drink whiskey?"
Kirk: "Occasionally. Why?"
Lincoln: "Because you have qualities very much like those of another man I admire greatly -- General Grant."
Lincoln: "One matter further, gentlemen. We fight on their level. With trickery, brutality, finality. We match their evil. I know, James. I was reputed to be a gentle man. But I was commander in chief during the four bloodiest years of my country's history. I gave orders that sent a hundred thousand men to their death. at the hands of their brothers. There is no honorable way to kill, no gentle way to destroy. There is nothing good in war except its ending. And you are fighting for the lives of your crew."
Kirk: "Your campaign, Mr. President."
All Our Yesterdays
Kirk: "Are you still in the library?"
Spock:"Indeed not! We are in a wilderness of arctic characteristics!"
MCoy: "He means it's cold!"
Spock: "Dr. McCoy is making excellent progress."
McCoy: "Mr. Spock has been practicing medicine without a license. Don't let him doctor you. I'm the doctor around here."
Spock: And known as the worst patient in the entire crew of the Enterprise."
Zarabeth: "But your friend -- he is ill."
Spock: "That is true. If I leave him, he may never regain the ship. He would be marooned in this time period. But he is no longer in danger of death, so my primary duty to him has been discharged. And if I remain here, no one of our party would be able to aid Captain Kirk."
Zarabeth: "Oh, you make it sound like an equation."
Spock: "It should be an equation! I should be able to resolve this problem logically."
Spock: "I'm behaving disgracefully. I have eaten animal flesh and I've enjoyed it. What is wrong with me?"
McCoy: "You listen to me, you pointed-eared Vulcan --!"
Spock: "I don't like that. I don't think I ever did, and now I'm sure."
McCoy: "What's happening to you, Spock?"
Spock: "Nothing that shouldn't have happened long ago."
McCoy: "Are you trying to kill me, Spock? Is that what you really want? Think. What are you feeling? Rage? Jealousy? Have you ever had those feelings before?"
Spock: "This is impossible. Impossible. I am a Vulcan."
McCoy: "The Vulcan you knew won't exist for another 5,000 years. Think, man. What's happening on your planet right now, at this very moment?"
Spock: "My ancestors are barbarians, warlike barbarians. Who nearly killed themselves off with their own passions."
McCoy: "Spock, you're reverting into your ancestors... 5,000 years before you were born!"
Spock: "I've lost myself. I do not know who I am."
Turnabout Intruder
(The one where Kirk is body-swapped with a woman. You know what, just go watch this one.)