"It is like watching a cartoon! but in purple text!"

[eliyes]

The reaction of certain Biker Mice From Mars to hearing that there are people who feel that J'onn J'onzz is sexier than they are. Edited from comment spamming Lakidaa in IM. :D


Vinnie: DAMMIT I AM SEXY
Modo: Sure you are, Vinnie. *soothing voice* It's just that Charley-girl seems uncomfortable with the whole "furry alien" thing and--
Vinnie: *rounds on Modo, who is half-again his size* Who said anything about Charley-girl? I didn't say anything about Charley-girl!
Throttle: Vincent, you need to calm down before your bike starts firing off shots and all of Wrigley Field sees us in here.
Vinnie: *fume*
Modo: *reads a few comics* ...Maybe he appeals to the ladies that like the whole "mature man" vibe.
Vinnie: *puffs up* I am a STUD.
Throttle: *hiding a grin* But a young stud.
Modo: *still reading* Awwww! Look, Vinnie, see? He's a widower, too!
Vinnie: *gives Modo the "you traitor" cross-armed glare, tail lashing wildly*
Modo: *low whistle* And he turns into quite the babe. Look! *shows off 'Joan'*
Throttle: ...Not bad. Hrm. I suppose a shapeshifter would have certain advantages.
Vinnie: *mutter*
Modo: ...Look, even the shemale monarch of these amazon aquatic ladies thinks she/he's hot stuff.
Vinnie: EW. EWWWWW. No fish-people are sexy.
Throttle: Vinnie, at least look at these ladies. They aren't exactly Plutarkians.
Modo: *drops comic* Thanks, guys. You just ruined the story for me.
Throttle: *picks through the comics* Oh, hey. Tentacles.
Modo: So that's where the Internet gets it.
Vinnie: HA! If Charley-girl doens't do anthro, she certanly won't go for tenta... Why are you looking at me like that?
Modo: *snort*
Throttle: *faux-innocent* What does Charley-girl have do do with it?
Charley: *saunters in with a huge load of groceries, mid-bitch* -- much good getting to the supermarket to buy the groceries when there's too many people out there to get you to help me to carry them in and I have to sneak around -- *sets groceries down* -- oof! I swear, sometimes I wish I could grow extra arms --
Vinnie: *goes stock-still, and then zips away out of sight*
Charley: --make this a ... lot... Uh? What's with Vinnie? o.O
Modo: *deep sigh*
Throttle: *straight face* He thinks you don't like him because he can't turn into a woman or grow tentacles and extra limbs.
Charley: O.@
Modo: *levers himself up to go after Vinnie and keep him from motoring out mid-game in Wrigley field*
Charley: ......And you can?
Throttle: *shrugs, starts picking up groceries*
Charley: No, seriously, Throttle --
Vinnie: *returns, Modo behind him, gives Throttle a withering look of disdain, bows over Charley's hand, picks up all the groceries and heads to put them away with a tail-swish that clearly says 'I am being a perfect gentleman' to anyone who can read such things... which unfortunately does not include Charlene Davidson*