FANFIC I AM TELLING YOU

[eliyes]

Okay, so I mentioned that I bought the Star Trek book The Tears of the Singers.

Ignoring the prologue, the VERY FIRST SENTENCE in Chapter One is:

"James Kirk was bored."

And then? On the next page? Uhura and Spock show up in fancy dress and ask him to go out with them.

FANFIC SERIOUSLY

Comments

[nagaina-ryuuoh.livejournal.com]

For your amusement:

http://www.well.com/~sjroby/lostbooks.html

My favorite bit?

In 1985, Pocket Books published Della Van Hise's novel Killing Time, then withdrew it from publication. The wrong draft of the novel had been printed. Pocket had the correct version in the stores pretty quickly, but didn't publicize the change. Van Hise was apparently active in the "slash" fan fiction scene (i.e., fiction about Kirk and Spock as lovers), and she worked a slash subtext into this novel, more overtly in the accidentally printed early draft. The editor at the time had Van Hise rewrite the book to get rid of that subtext. The revised version was used for later printings.

There are at least fifty changes from the first version to the revised version, some as short as a single word, others as long as a paragraph or two. Most of the excisions involve scenes in which there is physical contact between Kirk and Spock (for example, describing the warmth of Spock's hand on Kirk's face during a mindmeld). But there was also a sentence that described Spock's realization that Kirk was the person Spock was meant to spend his life with.

Copies of the original can still be found in used bookstores and at conventions, so this book isn't completely lost yet. If the cover has raised letters for the title, it's likely to be the original; if not, check anyway, because at least some copies without raised lettering have the unexpurgated text. Better yet, just check page 41 for a passage that begins, "I understand that you were probably playing with dolls and wearing lipstick until you were twenty!" That appears only in the original.

I am somewhat fortunate -- when I got pegged to write a media tie-in novel about my favorite characters, I was actively encouraged to smut it up by the fiction line developer. ^_^

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

*checks link, sees cover of this book* ACK THEY HAVE THAT! At the store where I bought my books! Goddammit! XD

novel get!

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

"I understand perfectly, Donner," he said in a voice which was oddly compliant. But he raised hazel eyes aflame with unconcealed hatred. "I understand that you were probably playing with dolls and wearing lipstick until you were twenty! And I also understand that you're probably double-jointed -- since you've got your head so far up you ass that you'll never see the light of day again!"

Re: novel get!

[nagaina-ryuuoh.livejournal.com]

::spits a mouthful of water across the room::

Holy mother of pearl, that's WONDERFUL.

Re: novel get!

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

Draft-dodging anti-Starfleet Ensign Kirk! "No one owned him". Spock seems to be the Captain? XD

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

See, now I want a copy of the reprint so I can see if my "spot the differences" guesses are right. For example, Kirk is having nightmares about another reality, basically. Spock offers a friendly ear to tell them to.

Kirk grinned, realizing there was no one else who could ease his tension quite so easily.

Is that in the reprint? How about:

Kirk looked at his friend for a long time, their eyes holding them together.

Re: novel get!

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

Spock goes into pon-farr!! *delighted laughter*

More things I'm guessing they took out:

McCoy's repeated references to how half the crew want to shag Spock; Kirk's second roommate calling him "Juliet" all the time, and also at one point implying the crew thought he and Spock were an item; Kirk sharing the pon-farr; all the times the Praetor is jealous of Spock's relationship with Kirk; Spock forcing himself on Kirk.

Let me repeat that: SPOCK FORCING HIMSELF ON KIRK. Mind-meld-wise. Like, wrestles him to the ground, pins him, lays on top of him, growls at him that Kirk's life belongs to him and forces a meld. And afterwards, Kirk is noticeably more upbeat. *shakes head*

I was equally horrified and hysterical, I think. The terrible thing is, this book is not slashier than the new movie! I take that back. It gets to be.

Re: novel get!

[nagaina-ryuuoh.livejournal.com]

I have to get this book. Back in the day, one of my uncles had every Star Trek novel ever written -- I'm going to have to ask him if he's still got this one and if I can borrow it.

Re: novel get!

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

It's actually a pretty good book, really. If I ever find the less-slashy version, I will probably pick it up, not just to compare but also to see if it's still as cool.

[lithic-rune.livejournal.com]

Whut? Go out as in go out on a date?

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

So it would seem!

[edward-hyde.livejournal.com]

Oh gawd, I have that book. The bit about stealth slash is hilarious and does not surprise me - I distinctly remember being kind of entertained by how fond the author was of having Dramatic Spock-Shows-Emotion-Due-to-Worry-Moments, because if you do something like that more than once in a story it starts to get silly. XD

If you want to see some books that are even more ridiculously slash fanfiction, look for...god, what are they. Two books, same author, one's a sequel. I want to say Price of the Phoenix or Tears of the Phoenix or something involving a Phoenix. I have both but only made it through like 75% of the first one because I kept laughing too hard. It was something I should have found on the internet, I think is the only way to convey my feelings on the matter. Couldn't believe it was real.

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

The Price of the Phoenix and The Fate of the Phoenix, perhaps? Kirk!clones?

[edward-hyde.livejournal.com]

There we go! I need to go back and make myself finish reading the set.

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

*starts making a list of things to look for*