Dear Doctor Who (Tom Baker version),

Kindly stay the hell out of my dreams, sir, and take the Master with you! I don't care if he/it looks like Ba'al (from Stargate) or Amanda (from Highlander), they truly aren't welcome. And take your sea mammals, as well. The SGA kids can stay, as long as Torri promises to get off the cocaine and stop splitting the planet open to dance through the heart of the world.

Most seriously and sincerely,

Eliyes

JOHN SHEPPARD: WOMAN

Amirite or amirite?