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X-Men fanfic: "Loose Lips Sink Ships" (pre-M-Day)
Title: Loose Lips Sink Ships
Timing: Before M-Day, shortly after Jean's death. If that's the wrong order, pretend it's not. *has no idea*
Author's notes: I am tired of this particular terminology popping up everywhere.
Featuring: Some of the new X-men (students at the time) and one of the old ones.
Hellion was already talking as he and Anole walked into the rec room, heading for the freebie vending machine, but he raised his voice a little, the better to be heard over the sounds of Car Toon Racers III from the dedicated video gaming set-up around the corner.
"--take it down the line. Cyclops is the Alpha male, and, like, Iceman is the Omega."
"Oh, come on--" Anole protested, even as he accepted a can of sparkling grapefruit juice from his classmate.
"I'm serious, what else fits?" Hellion insisted. "You've been boning up on superhero history. How many teams has Iceman been on?"
"Um. Four, I think. Five if you count the team of X-Men he returned to after X-Factor as different --"
"And has he ever lead?"
"Not that I know of, no."
"An Omega never leads. He's at the bottom of the pack hierarchy, and he stays in everyone's good graces by acting like a clown." Hellion raised an ironic eyebrow at what he felt was a clear parallel.
"But Iceman wouldn't starve to death if his teammates didn't share food with him or something," Anole scoffed.
"Iceman doesn't eat, but back to my point, which is that Phoenix versus White Queen was clearly a battle of Alpha ladies for the prime Alpha male."
"Here's where the analogy breaks down," Anole asserted in a firm tone of voice as they rounded the corner. "Ms. Grey-Summers was an impressive and powerful person, true, but by your definitions she was not an Alpha."
"They're not my definitions, they're the definitions, and also: bullshit! How was she not an Alpha?!"
"She never lead. When the X-Men were divided into two teams, Blue and Gold, lead by Cyclops and Storm, Ms. Grey-Summers was subordinate to both of them. By this -- this wolfpack logic, Cyclops and Storm should have been together instead, since Alphas only mate with Alphas."
Hellion smiled slyly as they passed the end of the gaming couch.
"Are you sure they never... were...?" He trailed off in horror as he saw who'd been sitting there this whole time.
"Pretty sure, yup," Iceman said without looking up from the screen as he navigated Ricky Rodent's Cheesemobile through the treacherously slippery Winter Wonderland level. "A much better comparison, and the one Cyke often uses, is military officers and enlisted."
"Oh, shit," Hellion blurted out, but the veteran superhero on the couch kept talking.
"Technically even most senior NCOs have to take orders from the lowest ranked commissioned officers, but bright little ensigns or whatever figure out how to delegate to and get advice from more experienced personnel. They also realise that mishandling a really good NCO can mean death for their own careers."
The television blared a jangly victory song as the Cheesemobile shot between the candy cane goal posts, and Iceman's score came up on the screen. He looked at the teenage mutants standing awkwardly at the arm of the couch.
"I'm sorry --" Anole started.
Iceman cut him off with a disdainful, "Please," then turned his translucent eyes to Hellion, who was still trying to repair his composure.
"Gossiping about the recently dead is so déclassé, don't you think?" His voice was acid.
"I meant no disrespect --" Hellion replied, stiff.
"Yeah, right." Iceman stood. "Jean would have set you straight. We're not a pack, or an army. We're a family." He stepped in closer to Hellion, voice dropping into something silky and cold. "What you are, I don't know. You wanna be an Alpha wolf, kid?"
"I --"
"You go ahead. Be an animal, instead of a man. That's a great goal; I'm sure you'll do well." He stalked out of the room, leaving a trail of frost footprints across the carpet.
Hellion drew in a shaky breath. "Shit."
"Yeah. Uh..." Anole cleared his throat. "...Isn't he running this afternoon's obstacle course?"
Hellion's eyes widened. "Shit!"
Timing: Before M-Day, shortly after Jean's death. If that's the wrong order, pretend it's not. *has no idea*
Author's notes: I am tired of this particular terminology popping up everywhere.
Featuring: Some of the new X-men (students at the time) and one of the old ones.
Hellion was already talking as he and Anole walked into the rec room, heading for the freebie vending machine, but he raised his voice a little, the better to be heard over the sounds of Car Toon Racers III from the dedicated video gaming set-up around the corner.
"--take it down the line. Cyclops is the Alpha male, and, like, Iceman is the Omega."
"Oh, come on--" Anole protested, even as he accepted a can of sparkling grapefruit juice from his classmate.
"I'm serious, what else fits?" Hellion insisted. "You've been boning up on superhero history. How many teams has Iceman been on?"
"Um. Four, I think. Five if you count the team of X-Men he returned to after X-Factor as different --"
"And has he ever lead?"
"Not that I know of, no."
"An Omega never leads. He's at the bottom of the pack hierarchy, and he stays in everyone's good graces by acting like a clown." Hellion raised an ironic eyebrow at what he felt was a clear parallel.
"But Iceman wouldn't starve to death if his teammates didn't share food with him or something," Anole scoffed.
"Iceman doesn't eat, but back to my point, which is that Phoenix versus White Queen was clearly a battle of Alpha ladies for the prime Alpha male."
"Here's where the analogy breaks down," Anole asserted in a firm tone of voice as they rounded the corner. "Ms. Grey-Summers was an impressive and powerful person, true, but by your definitions she was not an Alpha."
"They're not my definitions, they're the definitions, and also: bullshit! How was she not an Alpha?!"
"She never lead. When the X-Men were divided into two teams, Blue and Gold, lead by Cyclops and Storm, Ms. Grey-Summers was subordinate to both of them. By this -- this wolfpack logic, Cyclops and Storm should have been together instead, since Alphas only mate with Alphas."
Hellion smiled slyly as they passed the end of the gaming couch.
"Are you sure they never... were...?" He trailed off in horror as he saw who'd been sitting there this whole time.
"Pretty sure, yup," Iceman said without looking up from the screen as he navigated Ricky Rodent's Cheesemobile through the treacherously slippery Winter Wonderland level. "A much better comparison, and the one Cyke often uses, is military officers and enlisted."
"Oh, shit," Hellion blurted out, but the veteran superhero on the couch kept talking.
"Technically even most senior NCOs have to take orders from the lowest ranked commissioned officers, but bright little ensigns or whatever figure out how to delegate to and get advice from more experienced personnel. They also realise that mishandling a really good NCO can mean death for their own careers."
The television blared a jangly victory song as the Cheesemobile shot between the candy cane goal posts, and Iceman's score came up on the screen. He looked at the teenage mutants standing awkwardly at the arm of the couch.
"I'm sorry --" Anole started.
Iceman cut him off with a disdainful, "Please," then turned his translucent eyes to Hellion, who was still trying to repair his composure.
"Gossiping about the recently dead is so déclassé, don't you think?" His voice was acid.
"I meant no disrespect --" Hellion replied, stiff.
"Yeah, right." Iceman stood. "Jean would have set you straight. We're not a pack, or an army. We're a family." He stepped in closer to Hellion, voice dropping into something silky and cold. "What you are, I don't know. You wanna be an Alpha wolf, kid?"
"I --"
"You go ahead. Be an animal, instead of a man. That's a great goal; I'm sure you'll do well." He stalked out of the room, leaving a trail of frost footprints across the carpet.
Hellion drew in a shaky breath. "Shit."
"Yeah. Uh..." Anole cleared his throat. "...Isn't he running this afternoon's obstacle course?"
Hellion's eyes widened. "Shit!"