eliyes: (facepalm)
Eliyes ([personal profile] eliyes) wrote2008-12-20 06:54 pm
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Dear author,

I wish to offer you this piece of advice. When you write a sex scene, please keep in mind that the moment of orgasm is NOT a good time to indulge in alliteration.

*gales of laughter*

edit: Also, the phrase "organic pleasure button"? Really much funnier than probably intended.

edit2: You can't actually scare me off with all this "feels like our souls are melting together" talk during sex scenes, you know -- I've read Sentinel fic. *wags finger*

edit3: The term "liquefied being" really puts me more in mind of Soylent Green than it does semen.

edit4: *whooping with laughter* Oh Lord, "deflated penis"? Really? I am picturing a thpbpbpbpbpbpbpt noise, here. XD

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